I’m completely addicted to the show Catfish–where two filmmakers help lovelorn people figure out if their online crushes are actually real people–but I never thought I’d get Catfished IRL. A few weeks ago one of my Twitter followers told me that someone was using my image on their Ok Cupid profile. I mean great she thought I was cute enough to use for her (assume it is a her) profile but HELLO! And I instantly thought about who she’s out there duping. My next big question was: is she using my entire life–not just my pic–as a template for her own? Confession time: once upon a time I did some online dating. I clicked around her page and noticed that there wasn’t much Shallon-ness to be found. So I figured that my loyal Tweep had just stumbled upon a profile I’d neglected to delete and now I’d have to explain that I online dated. Her occupation was listed as an outlet mall manager, and she didn’t seem to have any hobbies or interests.

, and that was most definitely not my Ok Cupid profile because I don’t have an Ok Cupid profile.

I don’t want to be a part of someone getting crushed because they fell for an online mirage. Being a girl, I always assume that it’s so easy to chat up a female–just say hi! What would you do if you found out that someone stole your pic?

) but basically I talked about my love of race cars and how I had a dog named Pistachio. Then I sent Shorty_22 a message, which was kind of the strangest part about this whole saga: trying to hit on a girl, as a guy. Have you ever pretended to be someone you’re not online?

My guy friend Matt helped me fill out the rest of the profile (I SO WISH I’d screencapped it, curses! Hopefully, whoever Shorty_22 really is learned her lesson and stuck to the truth when it comes to online dating–and stays far away from my photos!

Not just because Fake Jarret was hitting on Fake Shallon but because he was doing it so clumsily. OH I’M SORRY FAKE SHALLON, IS JARRET STOLL NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? About a week later, Ok Cupid removed Shorty_22’s profile so I deleted Fake Jarret’s account too–the last thing I wanted was some poor girl to fall in love with a Catfish.

Women that say they don’t care about looks are straight up lying. We are attracted to a woman’s looks just as much as she is attracted to our looks. Men are more attracted to the natural beauty on a woman.

A woman is – in most cases – attracted to things such as how a man dresses and how in shape the guy is.

I sent the site an email asking them to remove the profile or at least the picture, but in the meantime, I took matters into my own hands and made a fake profile of a dude to try and Catfish her right back! Love is like sales–if you don’t believe in your own product, how can you expect anyone else to buy what you’re selling?

I’m sure that Shorty_22 is a perfectly nice, lovable girl who will DEF have better luck in life if she just owns who she is.